All The Way Home

I have had so many responses to what I shared in my January newsletter that I decided to post it here so you can read it. I will be posting things that I feel may be helpful to you in just your everyday living and the things we all face. Thanks for reading, feel free to share these with anyone you feel may need to hear them. Stormie

All The Way Home January 9, 2009
Stormie Sheldon Newman

I’ve heard many people over my lifetime say, “God woke me up in the middle of the night and told me………..” Well, there have been times I wish God would do that for me, although I’m not sure I’d remember anything He told me at 3am. And, if He did speak to me that way, I’d be very careful about blabbing it around as many folks just don’t understand this type of thing. I get it, but it just doesn’t happen to me! This morning about 3 am, the dog had to go outside. Reluctantly I went to the door and patiently waited until he finished and came back in. I gratefully crawled back into bed ready to get a few more hours of much needed rest. As I lay there, events of the past few weeks and months began to play themselves out in my mind like a video. My home life was being attacked by something or someone. I don’t mean my physical home, I mean my family and life events and those everyday things that are part of being a family and living life. What has always been my haven, now seemed to be the place I felt like running from. I knew that wasn’t the way it should be and I said as much to God in my half awake state. I told Him how I felt. That this was crap! Here I am, loving and serving Him, here I am being a good girl, taking care of my family and doing all the right things and I’m getting crap. Then a phrase started going through my mind. Go all the way home, all the way home. The longer I lay there trying to force sleep, the clearer it became that God was trying to say something to me. Knowing that God is almighty and all powerful, I mumbled into the dark, “If you can wake me up at 3 am to tell me this, can’t you remember it at 6 am and wake me then and we can share over a cup of Starbucks?!” Alas, I am apparently speaking in vain. I got up and came down to my computer and you are about to read the thoughts that have come to me at this moment.

All the Way Home

Home – The objective in various games
Home – Ones physical place of residence, house, familiar and congenial setting
Home – The land of ones birth or citizenship

Almost every board game I played growing up had a “Home”, a safe place. The goal was to successfully navigate around the board and get your little non-gender specific game piece all the way home. Home was a place where you were finally free. You couldn’t be attacked, you couldn’t be penalized or fined, at last you could rest while everyone else that was still in the game fought to bring their politically correct game piece Home. It was hard work to get home. There were times you would be almost there, right at the door, you could taste the victory, and whack! Out of nowhere you are knocked out! You are sent back to the beginning of your hard journey around the board. Or, even worse, you are hit with some kind of penalty that cripples you and now it seems like you will never get Home at all. Everyone else is flying by you, they are landing on the “good” spaces and getting rewarded or pushed closer to home. After all, home is the final goal, and to be safe and be a winner is all that any of us want. But, what would happen if there was no “Home”. What if there wasn’t a safe place to be and there seemed to be no rest, no end to the journey, or worse yet, no point to the game at all? First of all, without Home, there is no place to go. There is no reward for all of the hard work you just did, and there is no sense of purpose in the game at all. Second, without Home, there is no place of rest. There is no place of peace and sense of well being. There is just a continual track around which we run our little game piece until it wears us out.

After many years of running around the board of life, I finally made it Home. I finally found a space on the board I proudly called my “happy place”. I love my life and practically everything about it. God has allowed me to have the best friends in the world. I love what I do as a calling and a profession. He gave me the best husband and family, including the three best dogs in the world! He has given me a beautiful home that I have spent countless time decorating, and making it personally ours, a safe haven and a place of peace. I finally have a place that I love to be and a life I love to live. For the past few years anyone who would come to our house always remarked that it was such a place of peace. I felt proud that we had been able to accomplish that. Everything had finally fallen in place for me. I was sitting back here in my home, resting, relaxing, doing work I love, being with the people I love. The ministry that God had called me to had finally begun to take wings and fly. The business we built was doing well. All was right in Stormie’s world. And, if something wasn’t quite right in part of my world, I always knew I could come home and it would be ok there.

In the middle of my euphoria, something happened. In fact a few somethings happened. It seemed like my happy place just disappeared overnight! Like mortar shells from enemy fire, all hell broke loose in my home. Now, I can handle all hell breaking loose in everyone else’s life or in other various parts of the world. Just NOT mine! I went through hell to get to this point, so now is my time to be “Home”. But, apparently, I wasn’t going to get my way. One thing after another began to hit our family. I mean from the inside out. We have always been able to weather anything hurled at us from the outside, but now I’m dealing with stuff in my safe place! I’m not sure I can handle this! There is too much to be able to tell it all, but they are things like sickness, accidents, emotional tension, finances, teenager issues, work issues, discouragement, etc. Stuff we all face, so on one hand it doesn’t sound like a really big deal. You try to tell yourself, “Get a grip, that’s life, deal with it and move on!” However, when all of it hits you at once, like a ton of bricks, and in your happy place……you feel like you can’t breathe. You don’t know which thing to deal with first, and many times you don’t even know how to deal with it. So, all of a sudden my peaceful, happy, place I love to be is the place I want to run away from. Now instead of being my refuge and haven, it is my source of contention and pain. I find myself in a place that I am at a loss for what to do. The “home” that I have worked so hard to attain, is no longer there. Oh, the physical part is there…..but the refuge, the rest, is the shelter is gone. Now, my comfort is in running the race around the board. If I can just keep busy enough I won’t have to think or deal with it. Even better, if I keep busy enough I won’t be there as much and be faced with all of it.

This is where the good part happens! As I am in the middle of this turmoil wondering what has happened to my happy home, I am repeating the phrase that was going through my head as I am trying to block it out and sleep. “Go all the way home, go all the way home, ALL the way home……….” AHA! It dawns on me! He finally gets through! This is NOT my home. Yes, it’s my dwelling place, yes, it’s my residence, the place I live out my day to day physical existence. But what about my spirit? That is what is in need of refuge! That’s where I hurt and I’m sad. It’s my spirit and emotions that need a break. I have worked so hard to make a place to come home to that I thought would be my protection and refuge from everything bad that could ever happen. I thought my husband who is my best friend would be my strength when things came at us. I thought my child would be my comfort when I was down. I thought the things I surrounded myself with would be my encouragement. There is nothing wrong with all of those things, and we all need a physical place like this. But, what happens when the enemy of our soul begins to attack even this place that we’ve built? What happens when our personal “strong tower” is crumbling down around us and there’s nothing we can do about it. What happens when the person we depend on to be our strength has barely enough of his own and none left to give? Where do you go when every corner of your happy place is overrun with sad? You go ALL THE WAY HOME! You head for the land of your citizenship which is in the spirit world because we are a spirit being. Most of us think we are physical beings living in a spiritual world when we give our lives to Christ. However, the reality is that we are spiritual beings living in a temporal and physical world. This world is NOT our home, we are just passing through. Our true home, our treasures, and our security is in our final destination and in Jesus! Wow! I knew that…….but I don’t know that I really got it like I should have and I know I haven’t been living it like I should. Somehow in my mind this was it. God had finally given me my hearts desires; a beautiful home, a husband, kids, work, purpose, etc. This was my happy place and refuge. What I was dismissing was that all of this is corruptible! Yes, corruptible. That means that is can be compromised. That means that the enemy can get in and upset the apple cart. What I worked so hard to create could be gone with the snap of my finger. Where is the comfort in that? Where is the peace? You see, if home is not there……..or if home becomes corrupted we are at a loss. Home for you can be many things. It is the place you live, invest your time, creativity and energy. It is where your heart is. So, I guess my bottom line from God this morning was this……..Where is my heart? Where do I spend my time? Where do I go for comfort? Where do I draw my strength? Where do I unload my burden? What is important to me? Who do I run to for courage and direction?

Having a home, things, family, good job and building a physical life around you is good. Those are Gods blessings. I thank God every day for what He has given me. But no matter what your background, how you live, whether you feel blessed or cursed, we are all only a heartache from hell and a heartbeat from heaven. Nothing stays the same, stuff comes and goes, people change, circumstances change and life just plain happens. Eventually everything we have made such a big priority in life will let us down, or fade away including our physical bodies. All we will be left with is our spirit man and our relationship with God and our choices that impact our eternal life.

Mat 6:19 (the message) Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: Mat 6:20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: Mat 6:21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.So it appears that God is telling me that if will consciously begin to switch my focus on Him that my earthly, physical “happy place” will be a direct result of my heart being at home with Him! Mat 6:30 "If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers--most of which are never even seen--don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? Mat 6:31 What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. Mat 6:32 People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Mat 6:33 Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Mat 6:34 "Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

I’ve thought it through long and hard in the past few hours. I’m not good to go for anything or anyone with the skewed perception I’ve had of where my happy place is. I pray that as I begin to redistribute my loyalties and refocus my attention in the right direction, that I will finally get “All The Way Home”.