It starts with a fall....... We get tripped up, or we slip, or get hit with something and down we go.
Then comes the pain....... "Oh it hurts so bad, I don't know if I can get up again! I'm never going to feel the same. Will this wound ever heal?! I just know I'm going to die!"
Then comes the pride......"Did anyone see? Does anyone know? What if they find out? How can I face anyone now?"
Then comes the cover up......."I think I'll just stay away. I'll change my circle of friends. If I don't see anyone, they can't sense that something is wrong. Maybe if I can draw attention to someone else or something else, they won't focus on me."
Then comes the lies. "No one cares about me. I'll fix it myself and then get back in touch with people. This is to big, it can't be fixed. No one else would understand this."
It becomes a vicious cyle. Sin, get hurt, run and hide, over and over until something happens to break that cycle. Here's the problem. The only one that can break that cyle is us. But we're to busy running and hiding and licking our wounds. That's exactly where Satan wants to keep you! Over in a corner somewhere licking your wounds! It's very hard to look up from this position. And sometimes it hurts so bad that we're just trying to barely hold it together and we can't see past the end of our problem.
1Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
Your enemy is not your friend, or family member, or boss, or whomever has caused this pain in you. It is Satan, the enemy of your soul, the roaring lion in 1 Peter 5:8. In order for a lion to devour its prey, it must be wounded and incapable of fighting back. The lion has to inflict enough pain and injury to slow his victim down so he can finish the kill. First he gets his victim seperated from the flock. Then he takes a stab at him to cause injury. While his next meal is limping along unable to fight back, he comes in for the kill and devours him.
In the jungle it's "survival of the fittest". In our Christian walk, it is the same. If you are going to fight off the devil and his attacks, you must be fit! Several keys to spiritual fitness are;
1. Stay with the flock! A lone ranger is easy to pick off. Especially if you are hurting in some way. It's the flock that will provide the distraction and protection from the enemy.
2. Nutrition is a key to having the strength to fight back. If you are not in the Word and if you are not being fed properly on a regular basis, then you become weak. You are unable to wage a fight, thus, a hit from the enemy that might be easily fended off, could be the very thing that brings you down.
3. Learn from your fellow flockers. Surely there are others around you that have encountered the enemy in different ways. They have come through and are still standing as a living testimony that you can overcome. Find out how they did it. Watch how others fight off the enemy in their lives and overcome the temptation to just lie down and die.
4. Develop a strategy for the next attack. You must be aware that you will be attacked again, and again, and again. It is wise to have an out, a strategy to get away. The best thing to do is stay away from situations that will require you to shed blood in an attack. Just as they teach in a self defense class, the key is to avoid situations in which you can be attacked. Be sure you are hanging with the right crowd. Be sure you are aware of your surroundings.
I'm sure I could go on and on, but I think you get the point. If you are in a situation that you are wounded, and always seem to be defeated, do an inventory and ask yourself if you are following some of these steps above. If not, now is the time to start! Now is the time to get close to the Shepherd (Jesus) and stay with the flock (your brothers and sisters in Christ). Now is the time to feed on the Word and gain strength for your time of crisis.
Be strong, be blessed!
stormie
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Mean Girls (and boys!)
Why are kids so mean? I'm not sure I remember such meanness when I was growing up. I got picked on, sometimes in fun, sometimes not, but it didn't seem like it was as consistent as it is today. I'm not sure it permanently damaged me, but then I guess you would have to talk to my husband or kids to find that out.
This week, I found out that my beautiful daughter, Amie, gets picked on daily. There are a few girls at school that have made it their goal in life to make my daughter miserable and make her feel like she is a misfit. Yes, there has been the occasional boy that has taken shots at her as well. Just a few weeks ago a young man decided he was not happy with her and grabbed her around the neck and started to choke her. Thank God one of her friends was there and was able to get the guy off of her! But it seems like the girls have it out for her more. She told me that she is told daily that she is ugly, that she doesn't fit in. There are rumors started about her that are untrue, she gets things stolen from her, she gets slapped, and much more. At first, I thought maybe she is doing something that attracts all this attention, or maybe she is reacting in a way that makes it fun for them to pick on her. I decided to talk to a few other moms of teens and see if I was the only one dealing with this. Alas! I am not. It seems like everyone elses kid gets picked on too. I can't even print some of the stories I have heard. From getting knives pulled on them, to getting stuffed in trash cans.....these poor kids are having to live their lives in fear! Amie hates to go to school, and now I see why. She tells me about how many of the kids treat the teachers and other students. I'm not sure I could handle living in her world!
We have tried to figure this out for a while now. But this latest thing is really taking its toll on her. Because she is listening to the things being said about her, she is beginning to think she really is ugly! She has decided that the way to deal with this is to make herself look like those that are picking on her and just try to blend into the woodwork. She is talking make up, hair extensions, hair color, etc. Anything she can do that would make her fit in. As a mom, it's heartbreaking. Will she take up smoking, try drugs, or change the way she speaks, or the way she acts and treats others just to fit in? When she was little, I could fix most things that were wrong. Now that she is 15, she is tackling grown up issues, most of which she will have to learn to deal with on her own. As I am digging into the archives of my life for any information and ammunition to give her to cope, I am realizing that she is learning and dealing with the very same things that we do on a daily basis.
Yes, these are truly grown up issues. We think that it is a teen thing and that they are all acting like babies. However, when you really think about it, we all have our times and places that we want to fit in and be like every one else. Think about it....our hair, our styles, places we shop and hang out, influences that we listen and adhere to are all pretty much the same things our teens are dealing with. How are we handling these things? Is Amie watching the way I interact with life and react to situations and mirroring my actions?
If I were in her situation, what would my reactions be? How would I feel if everyone told me I was ugly on a daily basis? Would I want to run away, conform, or fight back? But wait, that is happening in my world! I constantly hear that I should look younger, that it is a shame to grow old. How do I react to that? I wash the grey out of my hair, I look for products that will reduce the wrinkles I have earned, I try to wear clothing that doesn't date me, I hang out with people that are "hip" and younger so I feel younger. Does that sound familiar? I'm also told that I should have certain things that make me cool. So, I buy things I don't need, with money I don't have, to impress people I don't even like! How does this make me any different than my daughter? If I am listening to the world and letting it form who I am, how is she supposed to learn to be herself? I'm not really talking hair and makeup. I'm talking attitude and self worth, knowing who you are and being comfortable in your own skin regardless of what anyone else says about you or to you. You know, the skin God gave you! Whether it is brown, white, yellow or green, it's yours. God made you who you are.
I think that what I have to remember and teach my daughter is that we are NOT supposed to be like the rest of the world. We are supposed to be set apart. If that means our attitude is different, or the way we dress is different, or how we talk or look at situations is different, SO BE IT! We are different! We are supposed to be who God created us to be, NOT who are friends or family are telling us we should be. If we were all a bunch of clones, how boring and empty life would be.
The bottom line: We are not the only ones that feels these pressures on a daily basis. How we live is many times how our children live and deal with their pressures. And though we can't fix it for them and make everyone play nice, we can be an example of how to play with the rest of the world. And, when we play by God's rules, we always win!
This week, I found out that my beautiful daughter, Amie, gets picked on daily. There are a few girls at school that have made it their goal in life to make my daughter miserable and make her feel like she is a misfit. Yes, there has been the occasional boy that has taken shots at her as well. Just a few weeks ago a young man decided he was not happy with her and grabbed her around the neck and started to choke her. Thank God one of her friends was there and was able to get the guy off of her! But it seems like the girls have it out for her more. She told me that she is told daily that she is ugly, that she doesn't fit in. There are rumors started about her that are untrue, she gets things stolen from her, she gets slapped, and much more. At first, I thought maybe she is doing something that attracts all this attention, or maybe she is reacting in a way that makes it fun for them to pick on her. I decided to talk to a few other moms of teens and see if I was the only one dealing with this. Alas! I am not. It seems like everyone elses kid gets picked on too. I can't even print some of the stories I have heard. From getting knives pulled on them, to getting stuffed in trash cans.....these poor kids are having to live their lives in fear! Amie hates to go to school, and now I see why. She tells me about how many of the kids treat the teachers and other students. I'm not sure I could handle living in her world!
We have tried to figure this out for a while now. But this latest thing is really taking its toll on her. Because she is listening to the things being said about her, she is beginning to think she really is ugly! She has decided that the way to deal with this is to make herself look like those that are picking on her and just try to blend into the woodwork. She is talking make up, hair extensions, hair color, etc. Anything she can do that would make her fit in. As a mom, it's heartbreaking. Will she take up smoking, try drugs, or change the way she speaks, or the way she acts and treats others just to fit in? When she was little, I could fix most things that were wrong. Now that she is 15, she is tackling grown up issues, most of which she will have to learn to deal with on her own. As I am digging into the archives of my life for any information and ammunition to give her to cope, I am realizing that she is learning and dealing with the very same things that we do on a daily basis.
Yes, these are truly grown up issues. We think that it is a teen thing and that they are all acting like babies. However, when you really think about it, we all have our times and places that we want to fit in and be like every one else. Think about it....our hair, our styles, places we shop and hang out, influences that we listen and adhere to are all pretty much the same things our teens are dealing with. How are we handling these things? Is Amie watching the way I interact with life and react to situations and mirroring my actions?
If I were in her situation, what would my reactions be? How would I feel if everyone told me I was ugly on a daily basis? Would I want to run away, conform, or fight back? But wait, that is happening in my world! I constantly hear that I should look younger, that it is a shame to grow old. How do I react to that? I wash the grey out of my hair, I look for products that will reduce the wrinkles I have earned, I try to wear clothing that doesn't date me, I hang out with people that are "hip" and younger so I feel younger. Does that sound familiar? I'm also told that I should have certain things that make me cool. So, I buy things I don't need, with money I don't have, to impress people I don't even like! How does this make me any different than my daughter? If I am listening to the world and letting it form who I am, how is she supposed to learn to be herself? I'm not really talking hair and makeup. I'm talking attitude and self worth, knowing who you are and being comfortable in your own skin regardless of what anyone else says about you or to you. You know, the skin God gave you! Whether it is brown, white, yellow or green, it's yours. God made you who you are.
I think that what I have to remember and teach my daughter is that we are NOT supposed to be like the rest of the world. We are supposed to be set apart. If that means our attitude is different, or the way we dress is different, or how we talk or look at situations is different, SO BE IT! We are different! We are supposed to be who God created us to be, NOT who are friends or family are telling us we should be. If we were all a bunch of clones, how boring and empty life would be.
The bottom line: We are not the only ones that feels these pressures on a daily basis. How we live is many times how our children live and deal with their pressures. And though we can't fix it for them and make everyone play nice, we can be an example of how to play with the rest of the world. And, when we play by God's rules, we always win!
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